Hate vs Apathy

Most people think the opposite of love is hate. But I would like to present the case that the opposite of love is actually apathy.

To hate something requires an emotion that is only possible when love is still present in some form. It takes energy to hate someone, and it usually stems from being hurt so deeply that love has twisted into something far from life-giving.

But apathy... the lack of care... requires no emotion at all. It comes from a place of nothingness.

I have experienced apathy from people I cared about, and I would much rather receive their critical words, their harsh name-calling, or their angry tears than their abandonment.

To contend for someone doesn't mean you always like them. It means they are worth fighting for, even when things are hard.

I experienced apathy when my business partner stopped communicating with me and walked away from our business without a word.

I experienced apathy when I sat across from pastors I loved and served under for twelve years, only to be shown no compassion and even mocked for my tears after they removed me from staff.

I experienced apathy when my best friend of twelve years and I went more than six months without speaking, and when I finally sought closure, she acted as though she had no idea what I was talking about.

I experienced apathy when a friend simply stopped responding to my texts and refused to even say hello when we found ourselves in the same place for the first time in months, without a single explanation.

Apathy is one of the most painful experiences I have ever known. In many ways, it cuts deeper than hatred, yet we rarely talk about it. To be apathetic toward someone communicates that you do not even care about them or their feelings. It speaks louder than shouting matches and hateful words ever could.

As I sought the Lord about these wounds and asked Him why they hurt so deeply, the response I sensed from Him was shocking:

"This is how it feels when My Church rejects My gift of grace."

And my heart broke all over again.

This time, not for my pain, but for His.

His Church has become apathetic.

We claim to love Him, but so often we do not truly care about Him. We care about status, safety, traditions, denominations, and comfort. When God does not do what we want Him to do, we do not always hate Him. We simply ignore Him.

When I am angry with God, He is near.

When I am deeply in love with God, He is near.

But when I become indifferent, when I merely go through the motions or ignore Him altogether, He feels far from me.

Think about Job.

Job did not simply mourn his losses. He mourned what he believed was the loss of fellowship with his Father. He cried out in confusion and anger, yet God did not strike him down. He met him in that place. Throughout it all, God never stopped calling Job righteous.

Many see Job as a type and shadow pointing to Christ, and Jesus Himself cried out to the Father in His suffering before going to the cross.

God is not afraid of our outbursts, our fears, or our doubts. He does not despise us when we are angry with Him or when we wrestle honestly with disappointment and pain.

But when we stop caring...

When we ghost Him, show no affection for Him, pretend He is not with us, or simply cast Him aside, we reject His gift of grace.

My heart hurts for those I love who have become apathetic toward me, but it breaks for my Father, who loves His children more deeply than I can comprehend and watches His Bride grow stagnant and indifferent to His love.

Do not be lukewarm.

Be cold, or be hot, but do not choose apathy.